Acknowledging MOM’s value should take place each and every day. However, Mother’s Day is a wonderful time to highlight the Mom’s in our lives.
Finding ways to show respect, appreciation, and express love for Mom not only impacts her positively, but helps our children and teens develop an attitude of gratitude for their Mom that can last a lifetime.
Communicating love and respect daily, or on Mother’s Day, isn’t simply a matter taking mom out to an expensive restaurant. That may be nice, but more often than not, that isn’t really what she’s looking for.
Taking time to be mindful of what would be most meaningful for Mom will make the most powerful impact upon her.
As you think about Mother’s Day and honouring the Mom in your life consider what would make ‘her’ day memorable.
Some things to consider . . .
What are her hobbies and interests?
Time carved out to include an activity that involves her interests or hobbies communicates your love while providing an opportunity to disconnect from other activities / or devices and intentionally connect with her.
What is Mom’s personality? How does her unique personality impact the way you will show appreciation? Should you encourage a large crowd or would she prefer a more intimate smaller gathering? Will she enjoy something loud and boisterous or more quiet and reflective? Let Mom’s personality help you in shaping how you will communicate your love to her.
What’s Mom’s “love language” and how can you tie your gifts to it?
(If you’re familiar with 5 Love Languages it may be more natural to think in these terms. If you’re not familiar, the 5 Love Languages are, words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch)
Practical Ideas for Expressing Love to Mom:
Words of Affirmation: In our family we have taken time to write notes/letters to mom which have proven to be very meaningful for her. Our letters and notes will revolve around these three topics . . .
a. What do I most appreciate about Mom?
b. What character strengths do I recognize and affirm?
c. This is why I love you . . .
Acts of Service:
Taking the opportunity to give mom a break and take on specific chores or work that Mom normally cares for is a wonderful gift idea. See Coupon Book idea at end of article for more information.
If Mom’s love language is receiving gifts, by all means buy a gift, but ensure it is something meaningful for her.
Quality time cannot be fabricated, however, there are some key ingredients to ensure you have quality time.
- Quality time often happens within the context of quantity time. In light of this, I’d encourage scheduling regular times together, without distraction, as a normal part of your week. You will soon discover that your time together becomes more meaningful and the quality, depth of conversation, and connection improves.
- Set aside personal desires and preferences in honour of Mom. It’s does your relationship well to set aside personal desires and honour one another by ‘doing’ something that Mom enjoys. You will discover over time that this is often reciprocated. In short, resist the temptation to only do what you want to do.
- Add variety. Sitting in the living room and having a deep conversation is great, once in a while. But don’t expect that every-time. Add variety and keep the relationship alive and fresh.
In our age of electronics and disconnection physical touch is increasingly powerful and seemingly rare. Encourage your children to give hugs (it’s good for them too), back massages, and if they are brave foot rubs are ok too.
Giving to Mom.
To foster this kind of giving to Mom you could encourage your children to create a coupon book that focuses on the love languages specific to her.
Creating a “coupon” book of things that children and teens can give back to mom has been a great Mother’s Day gift for a reason. It is a creative way kids can ‘give back’ to mom with no expectation of anything in return. Also this gift keeps giving long after Mother’s Day has ended.
They could offer a . . .
“Free Hug. Just Because.”
“Massage. After a long day on your feet.”
“Back rub on a particularly stressful day.”
“Drive a younger sibling to baseball practice.”
“Clean out and detail Mom’s vehicle.”
“An evening together doing whatever “YOU” desire”
etc . . .
Mom does so much. Let’s show her how much we care, not only today, but each and every day.
Remember. If you don’t live with Mom any more and distance makes it impossible to be present as much as you’d like. A phone call, or video conversation still goes a long way to keep the relationship alive and thriving.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
Until Next time let’s treat Mom well
Your friend and Pro-Active Parent Coach
Pro-Active Parent Coaching
The Legacy Centre